Why Editing My Closet No Longer Feels Hard
Re: Episode 298 with Laura Fenton
For those of you who have heard my story, I apologize for the redundancy but for those of you that haven’t, it goes like this…
I was quite the opposite of a minimalist in my late teens and early twenties. I was someone that needed a new outfit each time I attended church (or at least a new top). I hated wearing the same combination of clothing more than once every couple of months. I wanted the newest, shiniest things. Every time I’d set foot into the mall or a Target (where I did most of my shopping at the time), I felt an almost compulsive pull towards the display laid before me. I was living paycheck to paycheck due to my spending habits. But, wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me take you back to the first time I realized I could buy without really thinking about the repercussions.
My desire to consume started long before I became an adult; however, I remember the day when it was no longer up to my parents to control my spending. I held the power. It began on my eighteenth birthday. I headed to our local mall for a new outfit for my celebratory dinner. As I roamed around Macy’s, picking up an armful of clothing, a sales associate stopped and asked if she could get a fitting room started for me.
As we talked, I casually mentioned that it was my eighteenth birthday and she responded by asking if I had any interest in opening up a credit card. Who, me? At the time, I hadn’t thought about the opportunities that this milestone birthday would bring. I was just looking forward to college, but people were actually interested in loaning me money? Sign me up. After I tried on a couple of dresses and tops, I headed to the checkout area where I was met again by the sales associate. After a look at my driver’s license and a quick delivery of my social security number, I was offered a two hundred dollar credit limit. (Looking back, I laugh at how naive I was to be thrilled to have access to two hundred dollars, but at the time, it was like I had hit the lotto.)
My original plan was to only purchase one top or dress for my birthday dinner, but I could now purchase all of the items I had taken into the dressing room. Charge it! A few weeks later, I received my two hundred-dollar Macy’s bill with a little box at the top that said my minimum payment was only twelve dollars (or some equally low payment). I was still in disbelief that I walked out of the store with a bag full of new clothes and only had to pay twelve dollars for them that month. You can obviously see the failed thought process in my plan.
If I were only to pay the minimum payment, I’d only be whittling away at interest charges (something I didn’t realize at the time of opening the credit card). I do think there is a problem with the lack of education in regard to economics in schools; however, that’s an argument for another day. For my naive teenage mind, I could just pay small amounts until I was back to zero and charge the card right back up again.
This behavior continued on for the next couple of years until I was a twenty-year-old, buried under six thousand dollars’ worth of credit card debt. The more I filled up my closet, the happier I became (or so I thought)…
Flash forward to today, I’m thirty-five years old. My closet is much less full and I don’t feel nearly as attached to the items in there.
In many ways, I’m still the same woman: I love clothes, I enjoy styling them, I prefer quality items; however, my mindset has shifted.
Editing my closet no longer feels hard due to my detachment towards clothes. If I’m honest with myself, I rationally understand that my value doesn’t come from the clothes that I wear. Sure, I desire to outwardly present my best-self but I no longer place emphasis on the clothing. My best-self is so much more than what I’m wearing.
Give up what other people think of you as a driving motivator in your life. Let go. For me, there was so much freedom found in assessing the relationships in my life, considering why I’m actually friends with these people (of all different shapes, sizes, styles) and realizing: “I’m not your friend because of these things.” Apply this to your motivation to fill your closet (or the FOMO you feel when it’s time to part ways).
How ridiculous and time-wasting for me to be driven by things that are ultimately meaningless in the grand scheme of things.
Our clothing can be a way for us to express creativity and feel confident about ourselves but when this is the most exciting thing about us - it’s time to re-evaluate.
A few other strategies that I’ve found helpful in editing my closet:
If I want something new, I follow the one-in, one-out rule. It’s simple: if an item is worth making space for, there is likely something else no longer receiving regular attention. I love to pass these items along to friends, sell on Marketplace or Poshmark or donate to a local charity.
I no longer desire to keep a wardrobe that doesn’t keep me looking my best or promotes negative emotions. Gone are the clothes that I wore in my early 20s. Why keep the reminder? My body has changed with babies. Of course it has! Why would I feel bad about the fact that I’m no longer built like someone that hasn’t birthed three humans.
Having a neutral reaction to sizing can help as you detach from previously worn sizes (but also, side tangent: isn’t it bizarre that there are only a handful of sizes in which every woman is supposed to fit? A conversation for another day…)
You may find that editing your closet is still a difficult task. That’s okay.
We’re all at different points in the decluttering process. May I recommend a few episodes of the podcast as you continue to whittle it down?
The episode that prompted this post: Episode 298: Why Editing Your Closet is SO Hard
Episode 269: Mindset Matters BEFORE You Enter Your Closet
Episode 238: Quality Over Quantity, Curating Your Closet and Embracing the Outfit Repeat
Episode 143: Decluttering Our Closets [Room by Room Series]
What did you think about the episode with Laura? Is this follow-up post helpful to you? I’d love to know!